It’s been almost a month since I wrote a post ridiculing Kobe Bryant. That’s far too long. Since Ron Artest signed with the Lakers last week I’ve noticed a whole lot of “If Ron-Ron can keep his head glued on straight the Lakers should cruise to the finals.” It seems that no one can mention Artest’s name without including the fact that he’s crazy. Yeah, yeah we get it, he went into the stands in Detroit and rolled some scared white folks. But that was four years ago, does Ron really still deserve this reputation as a head case? Kobe Bryant on the other hand just won his first solo championship and is riding the highest crest of his career. When discussing the Lakers chances in 2010 I’ve yet to hear one “If Kobe can stay out of trouble this year the Lakers will probably cruise to the finals.” But this is Kobe we’re talking about, just because he hasn’t waded into the stands doesn’t mean he isn’t seriously disturbed. So, let’s break it down, who is crazier Kobe or Ron Ron?
On the Court
Kobe- 2009 was a renaissance of sorts for Kobe. This year saw the release of “Kobe: Doin’ Work” and saw his reputation change from malignant tumor to team leader/coach on the floor. But let’s not forget the other Kobe Bryant, the one who forced the Lakers to ship off Shaq so he could be “the man.” The guy who when the team struggled, demanded to be traded, only to nix a potential deal to Chicago because they would have had to gut their roster to complete the trade. Kobe spent the entire post-Shaq, pre-Pau period sulking, taking bad shots, not passing, and yelling at Kwame Brown (well we can forgive him for that last one.)
Perhaps the most egregious example of Kobe’s attitude during this era came during the first round of the 2006 playoffs against the Sun. The Lakers jumped out to a 3-1 lead on an undermanned Phoenix squad who because of injuries had been forced to rely heavily on the immortal Tim Thomas. In game 7 with the Lakers in full choke mode, Kobe spent the entire second half not shooting in an apparent effort to prove to his detractors that the team can’t win without him taking 40 shots, ending with Bryant pouting on the bench.
Ron Ron- On the court Artest is known as a bully, who uses his reputation and physical largess to intimidate opponents. This reputation stems in large part from his storming of the stands in Detroit in 2004. But let’s not forget, that incident was instigated when Artest was doused with a drink after being separated from Ben Wallace. Ron snapped, and went looking for the guy who threw the Diet Pepsi at him, the beating wasn’t exactly unprovoked.
After the Brawl Artest has been a model citizen on the court in both Sacramento and Houston. Anyone who watched the playoffs this year could tell that he was the heart and soul of a scrappy Rockets squad.
Bottom Line: I’ll take emotional, but dedicated over petulant and sensitive every day.
Advantage Ron Ron
Off the Court
Kobe- The events that went down in 2003 in Colorado are the dark cloud that will forever hang over Kobe Bryant’s career. At best Kobe is guilty of adultery, at worst rape. Since then Kobe and his handlers have been painstakingly rehabbing his image into that of a dedicated father and husband. I don’t remember seeing footage of any other superstar’s wife and children greeting him in the tunnel after every home playoff game. Kobe went from being the bright young face of the league to the “Black Mamba,” a calculated villain, who cares more about his reputation than he does his team.
Ron Ron- While with Sacramento in 2007 Artest was convicted of domestic abuse, and spent 10 days in jail.
Bottom Line: I refuse to decide which is worse, they’re both disgusting. My general rule in life is that ties go against Kobe, but both of these are too deplorable to be judged.
Advantage Push
Both men are clearly unstable, but Artest’s on-court behavior has been less of a drag on the team. The fortunes of the 2010 Lakers rest more squarely on the whims of Bryant than Artest. Ron Ron is nothing if not a good soldier on the floor, and fans under the delusion that the relationship will work because Kobe will keep Artest in line must have slept through the past six years. So let me be the first, if Kobe Bryant can control his undeniable sociopathic bent, the Lakers will go through the Western Conference like a hot Ron Artest through a cold crowd.
-Jesse
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